Brought to you by Rev. Jack Ditch
"Now and then we had a hope
that if we lived and were good,
God would permit us to be pirates."
--Mark Twain
Welcome Aboard!
Yarrr, mateys, welcome to the Captain's Blog!
Here I be recordin' me adventures as resident troublemaker of the Unitarian Universalist community in Urbana, IL.
I used to be in charge of things 'round these parts. Had me a presidency and a worship committee and all sort of respect from the respectable sorts. I was a rising star among the Unitarian Universalists who are always on the lookout for rising stars among the Unitarian Universalists.
But I was never much for respectability. There are more important things than respectability.
I came to the UU church a few years ago with two religions already under my belt, Catholic Christianity and Discordianism, and I was thinkin' a UU church would be the perfect place to preach the values that I took from these and hold most dear. And at first, they welcomed me with open arms, as they welcome anyone they don't know yet. But then, lo an' behold, turns out I was preachin' two of the greatest unorthodoxies among UUs, the kind of things that make them secular humanists wriggle in their seats.
The heresy of Catholic Christianity, that God forgives everyone, even George Bush.
An' the heresy of Discordianism, that there are no rules.
An' you try and tell these godless liberal puritans that yer not gonna follow their rules, that you'd like a bit of gun-toting hellfire-preaching conservativism in yer church, just to balance out the liberal tendencies and maybe actually make that label of "Universalism" mean somethin', an' suddenly they're askin' themselves, "Who put this guy in charge?" And they get as panickey as any right-winger who's just found out I suck dick.
So now, I ain't in charge of nothin', 'cept maybe the Chalice & Crossbones flag up in the corner, which I've made into little buttons to hand out to fellow pirates. Now, I'm showin' up on Sunday as an outsider, someone who maybe they're not sure should be there at all. Now, I'm preachin' Discordian Universalism, unfettered by the expectations of the respectable folk, kickin' up the dust to see what other pirates I can find. Now, I've got a blog to tell you all about it.
So welcome to the Pirates of the Unitarians.
Let's go pillage some souls.
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Why not take CUC Executive Director Mary Bennett's new "corporate identity" of the oh so "inclusive" U*U community to heart and call yourselves U*U Pirates? ;-)
http://www.cuc.ca/whos_who/ed/MarySR_Dec03.pdf
http://emersonavenger.blogspot.com/2007/05/famous-uu-kurt-vonnegut-jrs-picture-of.html
Still ROTFLMU*UO!
Emerson--
Ha, they do not realize that U*U looks like cheap ascii butt porn. I shall endeavor to use that abbreviation whenever it is most (in)appropriate.
Somebody asked me this weekend, "Why not Pirates of the Unitarian Universalists?" To which I responded, "Because I'm a Universalist."
Sorry to hear that they bugged out on your religious experience. That does sound like something that would be done by the U*U church I know. I look forward to digging through the archives of your blog and hearing what other tales you have to tell; I'm on this crusade for folks like you.
PS Idunno why your post required my approval. I'm still tweaking my settings, but as far as I can tell, it shouldn't have. It is my desire for this forum to provide instant gratification to its commentators. Hopefully I'll get that fixed.
Loving the Emerson Avenger blog! I'll spend much worktime reading the archives, of that I have no doubt. Onward Rev. Jack! Let the pillaging begin.
Can I interest you in becoming Captain in the U*U Jihad Navy Rev. Jack? ;-)
http://emersonavenger.blogspot.com/search?q=U*U+Jihad+Navy
:Ha, they do not realize that U*U looks like cheap ascii butt porn.
I`m pretty sure they do now. . . ;-)
http://emersonavenger.blogspot.com/search?q=kurt+vonnegut+asshole
:I shall endeavor to use that abbreviation whenever it is most (in)appropriate.
Wonderful. Even admirable. Maybe I will promote you to Admiral or something.
:Somebody asked me this weekend, "Why not Pirates of the Unitarian Universalists?" To which I responded, "Because I'm a Universalist."
God forbid that you should be an U*U. . . ;-)
:Sorry to hear that they bugged out on your religious experience.
To put it mildly. . .
:That does sound like something that would be done by the U*U church I know.
Which one might that be?
:I look forward to digging through the archives of your blog and hearing what other tales you have to tell; I'm on this crusade for folks like you.
BTW Be careful about using words like "jihad" or "crusade" on your blog unless you want to risk having a squirrely U*U minister having you arrested on trumped up charges of fearing that you might committ a "serious personal injury offence" and seeking a restraining order that would prevent you from going to church. Seriously. . .
http://emersonavenger.blogspot.com/2007/08/rev-diane-rollert-is-now-officially-uu.html
:PS Idunno why your post required my approval. I'm still tweaking my settings, but as far as I can tell, it shouldn't have.
No worries. Since when do pirates require approval from anyone? ;-)
:It is my desire for this forum to provide instant gratification to its commentators. Hopefully I'll get that fixed.
That is pretty much my policy although I did have to create the U*U Hole for a certain U*U troll. . .
http://emersonavenger.blogspot.com/2006/12/uu-hole-brought-to-uus-uu-world-wide-by.html
Just Lovin` It eh Rev. T. Monkey?
Do enjoy but don`t get fired on my account. ;-)
Allah prochaine Mateys,
The Emerson Avenger
BTW Be careful about using words like "jihad" or "crusade" on your blog unless you want to risk having a squirrely U*U minister having you arrested on trumped up charges of fearing that you might committ a "serious personal injury offence" and seeking a restraining order that would prevent you from going to church. Seriously...
Yeah, I read a bit about your situation on your blog, and it's a fate I'm trying to avoid. As I said to Rev. T. Monkey last night, I'm hoping this doesn't come to me standing outside church protesting until they choose to get a restraining order.
But other days, I feel like Bush promising that all diplomatic options will be exhausted before invasion; really, it's the protester at the gates that all this (*gestures broadly*) is all about, and perhaps it would be better to simply cut to the chase.
Do we embrace the protester and listen to them, even if they believe the world was created 5,023 years ago by the Flying Spaghetti Monster (pbuh)? Or do we try to silence them, going so far as to restrain them from our community if they continue to try and speak out? The protester at the gates is the canary in the cage, and when we see them fall, we know that the area has become full of the noxious fumes of intolerance and judgment, and we had better move on before we are likewise asphyxiated. But when the protester is taken inside and placed behind a pulpit to speak out against the very church in which they stand, then we know we have found a truly Universalist church, and we pirates can settle in comfortably for the long haul.
Since when do pirates require approval from anyone? ;-)
Since, apparently, my system doesn't believe you have a real email address. That seems to be what's requiring approval, fwiw.
:Do we embrace the protester and listen to them, even if they believe the world was created 5,023 years ago by the Flying Spaghetti Monster (pbuh)? Or do we try to silence them, going so far as to restrain them from our community if they continue to try and speak out?
Well you know how U*Us respond to this protester, to say nothing of others. . .
This canary has yet to fall, inspite of repeated deeply misguided attempts by hypocritical U*Us to silence him, "excommunicate" him, and indeed outright criminalize him. . . I like to think of the Unitarian Church of Montreal as a "church" that suffers from arrested development. ;-)
http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=SUNA,SUNA:2006-30,SUNA:en&q=Unitarians+had+%22Robin+Edgar%22+arrested%2e+%2e+%2e
BTW I have been pillaging U*U souls for some time now. . . ;-)